Don't Leave Now
by grapefritters
Summary: "I'm thinking about leaving." It felt weird coming out of his mouth, but Finn needed to say it. He couldn't just leave everyone without telling them. "Lima, I mean. I'm thinking about going to New York." / Someone decides that Finn should leave, but someone else doesn't want him to go.


_Don't Leave Now_

Finn/Brittany

**A/N:** AU with slight spoilers for "Swan Song."

* * *

For the past few years, Finn had been trying to figure out where he fit and what he was supposed to be doing with his life. Football and college were out, the Army hadn't worked at all, and New York just wasn't for him. But never once did he think that he would find himself back in Lima and in the choir room almost a year after graduating for high school.

The thing was, he liked it. It wasn't ideal to be working at the tire shop still and hanging out with high school students, but it felt really good to have friends and to be doing something that made people happy. Maybe being the glee club instructor was something he could do somewhere else once Will came back. Or he could be like his assistant.

Then they lost Sectionals and he felt like a complete failure. Again.

Somehow the club always survived, but he'd gone from happy to completely confused about it all again. It just sucked to let them all down after he promised that he wouldn't and he had no idea how to get their trust in him back. He was sure they wouldn't want him to stay.

The day he got an envelope in the mail with a small note card from Rachel along with a train ticket, his stomach dropped. She wrote that she was happy in New York, that she'd found her place there and it would be really nice if she and him could be together again. It was something he'd waited to hear from her for a couple of months, but it didn't make him feel like he had expected it to.

It made him feel like an idiot. Of course she was happy there without him. He always knew she would figure out her life there eventually, but she'd changed. Even the way she signed her name was different. There wasn't a gold star sticker or a drawn star next to it.

And he had liked the gold star Rachel Berry. He'd loved her. That was the girl he'd asked to marry him, the girl he thought he was coming to New York to see after his Army career ended, but that wasn't her anymore and he felt like _he'd_changed in a completely new direction from her.

So he hadn't written her back or answered any of her calls, emails, or texts. But the ticket stayed on his dresser for a couple of days where he saw it every morning and night.

=/=

"I'm thinking about leaving." It felt weird coming out of his mouth, but Finn needed to say it. He couldn't just leave everyone without telling them. "Lima, I mean. I'm thinking about going to New York."

The reaction was kind of what he expected. There were a couple of eye rolls, some blank stares, and a little shock thrown in among the nods from the glee club members that he'd known the longest.

"So, yeah," he said after a moment, nodding and walking across the choir room. Standing still was hard. He felt like they were staring at him and wanting some sort of explanation. "I just wanted you guys to know. I know that we didn't win Sectionals, and I can't figure out what I did wrong, so I guess this just isn't the place for me."

"Why New York?" Sam asked suddenly, the blond tilting his head a bit. "I know Rachel and Kurt are there, but why now? Did you and Rachel get back together?"

Finn shook his head, not wanting to say anything about the ticket. He knew that it seemed like Rachel was controlling him and their relationship and he knew that wasn't a good thing. But he kind of felt like he needed that decision made for him right now. He obviously couldn't do it for himself. That never turned out very well.

"Maybe I can get into college there and hang out with my brother," he said suddenly. That was the worst reason ever. He had no intention of finding a college and they probably all knew it. He wasn't smart enough for that. And, really, he didn't even know if Kurt still wanted to be his brother. He barely talked to him anymore and sometimes he felt like Kurt and Rachel were a family he'd been kicked out of for a while. He was standing there with his thoughts racing that he didn't even notice that everyone was still in the room staring at him.

"Good luck then, man," Sam said before nodding and standing up. He patted Finn on the shoulder and Finn sent him a half smile before a couple of the other members were coming up and saying bye.

He'd only told them that he was thinking about it, but evidently they assumed he was going, probably for Rachel. They knew he would do that. He was predictable and that didn't feel too great.

In the next few minutes, everyone except Blaine left the room and he sighed as he glanced at him. After everything with the Warblers and Kurt and a little personal rivalry, somehow he and Blaine had become pretty close friends.

"What are you thinking?"

Finn's eyes fell on Blaine and he sighed.

"I'm thinking that I don't know what I want."

He sat down on the piano bench and closed his eyes, tilting his head back. After a moment, he opened his eyes and turned to look at Blaine again.

"New York isn't for me, is it?"

He saw the way Blaine twisted up his mouth before shaking his head.

"No. You're good here. We've told you that a lot this year, Finn. You need to start believing that."

"I let all of you down at Sectionals, though. We lost and it sucks to be the reason for it."

"Sometimes we lose things. Sometimes we do really stupid stuff or make a mistake and -" Blaine cut himself off and Finn wondered if he was thinking about Kurt. "And sometimes, like right now, other clubs just win instead."

Finn shrugged and surveyed the room before getting up and walking over to grab an empty box. He didn't have much in the room, but that's what teachers did when they got fired or left, right? Picking up a sweater of his out of Will's office, he tossed it into the box.

"I guess that's it..."

"When are you leaving for New York?"

"A couple of days before Christmas. The 21st, I think. Pretty sure that's what the ticket says."

The ticket was still on his dresser at home and it was probably a little weird that he saw it every day and still couldn't remember when he was supposed to be leaving.

"You don't know when?" Blaine laughed softly and shook his head before pausing. Realization passed over his face and Blaine sighed. "Finn, did Rachel send you a ticket? Was this her idea?"

Biting his lip, Finn wondered if he should tell him. His friend was right. This wasn't his idea at all.

"Last week. I got this note in the mail with the ticket. She said she's happy and wants to be together again." Finn shrugged quickly. "And maybe it will be good for me, too."

He didn't want to have this conversation, so he glanced at Blaine again before walking toward the door. Just then, Brittany walked into the room and looked between the two of them.

"Can I talk to Finn, Blaine?" She smiled at him and reached over to playfully ruffle his hair, causing his eyes to widen. "Whoops."

Finn held back a chuckle. Everyone knew how the guy felt about his hair gel. Blaine playfully rolled his eyes at the blonde before leaving the room, only turning back and smiling slightly.

"You didn't say bye with everyone else," Finn said with a little hurt evident in his voice.

Brittany looked down at her tennis shoes for a second before lifting her head with a shrug.

"I don't want to say bye and I don't think you do either." She frowned. "You didn't buy the ticket."

"How do you know that? I might have."

"You didn't."

Brittany walked over to him and took the box out of his hands. She placed it on a stack of chairs and took his hands then pulled him over to sit down at the piano.

"You didn't," she repeated, sliding her hands out of his.

Finn let out a slight laugh, but nothing was funny. "No, I didn't."

He wasn't even surprised that Brittany somehow knew that. He was kind of obvious after all, but the past couple of months had brought him closer with people he had known for years but had never hung out with. Brittany had found him in the choir room one day trying to adjust all of the wooden people models and trying to figure out some choreography and she'd helped him. Since then, she was working on some dances for the glee club with him and eventually she became someone he could talk to. It was a lot like things had been with Blaine. For a long time, they hadn't been super good friends or anything, but things had changed once Rachel and Santana and all of their friends left. It gave them time to become friends and it was awesome. If he had stopped to think about it, he would have realized sooner that he would miss his friends there. He would miss seeing Brittany almost everyday.

She looked at him and smiled sadly before taking one of his hands again. "I heard you tell Blaine that she sent it, but I kind of figured it out before because you've been really happy here. It sucks that we lost, Finn, but we're still awesome. We have a few more months, right?"

Closing his eyes again, Finn knew that what she was saying was right. They were a great club and it had seemed like he was right where he belonged for so long, but then they'd lost and he felt bad. Sighing, he slowly opened his eyes.

"But if you guys had someone else or if Mr. Schue comes back, you won't need me anyway."

Some expression he couldn't read crossed over Brittany's features before she sat up straighter, turned toward him, and stared straight in his eyes.

"Aren't you tired of people telling you what to do or telling you what you want? They always get what they want when we end up crying and upset." Brittany's lips curled down and she squeezed his hand, her other taking his free hand. "If Santana sent me a ticket to the place she lives now or came back and told me that she wanted to get back together, I would say no. I realized that I can do that if that's what I want, and so can you."

Brittany smiled softly up at him and it took a moment of staring at her, because staring at her was a little mesmerizing, but her words clicked in his head. She knew how to get through to him. He needed someone to talk to, even though he had wanted nothing to do with thinking about all of this a few minutes ago, and she was the perfect person to be there for him right then.

"I can say no," he said with a nod. "I can decide what I want to do, huh? But that's the problem, Britt. I don't know what I want at all."

"You can figure that out without someone telling you what to want, though, you know? It's not that hard if you just try." With a shrug, Brittany smiled suddenly and looked up at him from under her lashes. "Decide one thing that you want right now that's not, like, work and serious stuff."

Licking his lips, Finn thought over her question and smiled slowly at how many things came to mind. He wanted to go see Christmas lights and go Christmas shopping for his mom even though he always got her something kind of lame and he wanted to watch _Braveheart_. And with the way Brittany was looking at him with a huge smile on her face, he wanted to kiss her. Because she was a genius and it wasn't like it wouldn't be nice to kiss someone. Okay, and maybe during their little dance lessons, he had thought about it a few times, but he had been waiting on Rachel and he was sure she was waiting on Santana. Now, he knew she wasn't and he knew that letting Rachel decide that _she_was ready wouldn't be fair to himself. It wouldn't be what he wanted after she'd broken up with him.

He swallowed roughly before blurting out, "I wanna kiss you."

Brittany's eyes widened a bit before they fell to his lips. She looked at him for second and giggled softly.

"You do?"

Her laugh was contagious and suddenly he was laughing along and nodding quickly.

"Yeah. When I think about what I want, I want a lot of little things and I want to kiss you. But I don't want to leave New Directions and I don't want to go back to New York. I would suck there."

"And you don't suck here," Brittany said with a small smile before pulling her hands away from his and wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. "I gave you that doll head for good luck. I guess it could work anywhere, but it was blonde like me, so it probably works best if it's around me."

Pulling back, Brittany laughed softly again and he could see a tint of pink on her cheeks. "I want you to kiss me. You weren't too bad when we kissed at your kissing booth, but that was like two years ago. I think we should try again and see if we like it and if we want to do it again."

Her hands slid from his shoulders down his chest and she scooted a little closer so their knees were touching.

"But only if you want to. It can be your decision."

"I want to," he said with a quick nod before cupping her cheek and dipping his head to press his lips gently to hers. They kissed slowly for a moment and he smiled against her lips before she was pulling back.

She looked up at him and chuckled, asking, "You wouldn't have wanted to kiss Blaine if I hadn't come in, right?"

"No!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide but he was laughing and it felt good. "No. I wanted to kiss you. I promise."

"And do you want to do it again?"

"If you want to do it again, I want to. Do you?"

Brittany answered him by leaning into him and kissing him again, a little harder this time and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

It had been a while since he'd made a decision for himself and it felt good to be doing something he planned to do. He could give the ticket to Blaine if he wanted to take it and go fix some things of his own. Rachel would possibly be mad about it, but she had made her decision in the auditorium when she broke up with him. This was his for his part of their relationship. He was going to stay in Lima and figure things out, even if he ended up working at the tire shop for a while or even if he did just become the glee club assistant. He could even find something else if he wanted.

Pulling away from her lips when he needed to breathe, Finn looked down at Brittany with a smile.

"Thanks, Britt, for talking to me. I know one more thing I want."

Brittany stared at him curiously and he asked, "Do you want to go on a date this weekend? We can go look at Christmas lights and have hot chocolate and stuff, maybe watch a movie at my place." He grinned at her. "If you want to."

She nodded and leaned up, her lips barely touching his. "I want to," she whispered before kissing him again.

Finn still didn't know what he was doing or where he was going to be in a couple of years, but it felt good to be deciding what he wanted to do. One thing at a time. And what he really wanted to do right now was kiss Brittany and wait for their date. Anything else, he could think about after.


End file.
